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Ten things you need to know about your Arab!

There are certain things you need to know about Arabs. These are essential, and it is important to take them straight from Arabs, or from those who lived with Arabs. I'd say they'd be a more reliable source of information than CNN, FOX, SKY, Jack Powers...etc

Remember, these are basic, and are overwhilmingly standard among Arabs. So, here we go:

1) 90% of Arabs don't eat pork. They do so because 90% of Arabs are Muslims, and it's in their religion that they shouldn't eat pork, not because they hate you or don't want to be like you.

2) Arabs don't hate Americans' or Europeans' way of life! Actually we don't mind it. Some of actually live by it, and those who don't enjoy watching it on TV. We are just a little bit attached to our style of life, and we don't want some redneck like G.W.B to come and force a change on us.

3) Arabs don't hate Jews. If you check our genetic tree you will not find a gene that automatically enduces hate towards them. Actually, until 1920's we were getting a long just fine ans Andalucia, Morrocco, Egypt, Turkey, Iraq and Yemen are a testament to that. It's just a little bit hard to get a long with somebody who is occupying your house and living on your land, while occassionally getting a little bit naughty and killing a bunch of your own people.

4)Those Arabs you call middle easterns, are actually Cauccaisans. In other words WHITE!. Outside the middle east you have other types of arabs in Sudan & North Africa. They are ethnically black or Amazigh, and we love them just as much.

5) Just to emphasize point #3; Arabs are not anti-Semitic. For the very simple an obvious reason: Arabs Are Semitic.

6)Arabs usually, like in 95% of cases, have one wife! So, asking the same old question on how many women a guy is married to is not funny and is actually considered stupid and insulting.

7) When we pray we don't carry spears.

8)If somebody tells you he's Kanaanite, he is an Arab, Akkadian, he is an arab, A Pharoah, he is an Arab, a phoenician, he is an Arab, Lebanese, yes believe it or not he is an arab.

9) Arabs don't want to convert you. We don't care if you are Jewish, Christian, Buddahist, Bahaaist, or whatever. We just want you to let us be, mind your own business and we will mind ours.

10)People you might have seen in Jad Choueiri "Cool/Funky Arabs" are probably arabs, but they are neither representatives nor apologists for the rest of us. They are just a bunch of people with too much time on their hands and you can find people like these anywhere in the entire world. So please don't think that we are as cool or carefree as the Jamaicans!

3 comments:

kinzi said...

Well, I agree for the most part. Here's my red-neck bit after living in Jordan for a long time:

1) Just don't let any more Domino's Pizza places go hilal.

2)...well, I have met many that do and tell me so. As if I am forcing them to watch our immoral TV shows or something. I don't watch TV myself. In fact, the American way of life seems to be a force that is trying to destroy theirs, GWB or not.

3) I know MANY Arabs who hate Jews, it may not be genetic, but to say it;s not there is a stretch. I am usually guessed to be a German, and the Jew-hatred that I hear is astounding.

4) I wish I could be white like an Arab. This pasty color is tough in the sun

9) I am probably prosletyzed once a month. I've been offered money to convert. It's obnoxious.

That's my two piasters.

Ehab said...

Kinzi,

1) When it comes to Domino's this is a corporate marketing approach. You can't blame us for that!

2) As for those who hate your way of life, I think it is their decision, just as some westerners despise those veiled women, but I don't think that we are trying to make you change it.

3) As for the Jewish part, as I said, we don't hate Jews genetically, but You have to account for the impact that 60 years of occupation have! I personally don't hate Jews, and I have a considerable distinction in my head between a Jew and a Zionist, the later being the problem.

4)White or not, I love you the way you are :)

9) Can you guide me to those who offered you money? Do you think if you convert to, say, Buddhaism he or she will pay me to convert back! :)

kinzi said...

Ehab, I don't blame you. :) I've actually gotten to like beef pepperoni.

Heh-heh, when are you Muslims going to join us in challenging Hollywood on moral issues? Abortion? You do a great job defending Arab stereotypes, though. I try too.

Yes, the occupation is hardly a forum with which to love Jews. I've always felt (from a Christian point of view) that those who don't forgive are destined to repeat their own oppression on others.

I'm hoping one of my son's will marry one of the Urdani girls from church to infuse a little Arabian beauty into our Scot/Welsh pastiness.

Hey, now that sounds like a new industry! The best offer I got was $10,000, but that included having to divorce my husband, marry their son long enough for a green card, AND convert. @@