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Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts

The New Gods

Our concept of politicians is a bit skewed. Or maybe we don't make a necessary distinction between two types of politicians; front-end politicians and a back-end politicians. Before I proceed it might be useful to look at Wikipedia's definition of a Politician.

A Politican is a person who is involved in influencing public policy and decision making. This includes people who hold decision-making positions in government, and people who seek those positions, whether by means of election,inheritancecoup d'étatappointmentelectoral fraudconquestdivine right, or other means.

The functional word in the above definition is influencing public policy and decision making, and I believe this is not actually done by those whom we usually refer to as politicians. Let's take the United States for a minute. I think it is clear to everyone who chooses not to fool himself, that the policy making is done by pressure groups, lobbies, and corporations. A fact that is manifested by the advancement of interests of big corporations, banks, oil companies and foreign interests represented by a rich and dominant minority in the states like Israel and its AIPAC. Iraq war was not supported by the population. It was supported by the above-mentioned entities. So these guys are what we could rightly call back-end politicians. And like computer software, the back-end is the core and it is what really matters. The front-end is an interface. A pleasant presentation that soothes the users' (read public) eyes. Everything though is cooked at the back-end. So if you look at Obama and congressmen, they are nothing more than mouthpieces (front-end interfaces) for corporations and lobbying elites. Entities that buy these mouthpieces for campaigning money, and use their ambition and greed for their own interest. That is why for example American politicians have always supported the Israeli camp while in office, while some of them like Carter defected to the other side once their office terms ended. That is also why American politicians were always in search of an enemy to fight, a land to invade, and a place to use or sell weapons. More recently, that is why the result of the latest financial crisis was that banks got bigger and stronger while average Joe suffered. 

these front-end politicians are there to protect the interest of the back-end ones! Banks got bigger and their executives became richer. And now there is a feeling that these institutes are too big to fail. In other words, these shouldn't fail. The public have been tamed to believe that it is their national duty to make sure these banks never go bankrupt. Because if they do, the whole system will collapse. No banks means no liquidity, means nobody will have money to buy and as a result no one will sell, which means no company will make profit and consequently no jobs and no salaries. It has been enshrined and now it is almost like a religion. A pagan one reminiscent of those in the old times where human sacrifice was necessary to keep the gods happy. So every time a big bank or corporation is going down, a sacrifice is offered by the public in the form of  bailouts, lay-offs, few bankrupt people here and there, and others behind bars. The bank/ god and his angels (executives and CEO's) feed on the blood of the sacrifice and become more powerful and richer. All of this is done to avoid the wrath of the gods. 

So welcome to the new world of paganism. What we call politicians are priests of those gold and blood-thirsty pagan gods, otherwise known as banks, corporations and pressure groups. Your new gods are your elites. Running the show from the back-end while we are nothing more than hordes living our days to make these gods happy. 

Many of us are fighting to support secularism and atheism. All we're doing is converting from one religion to another.

Chapter 3: Jordanians " The Hair Shirts "



THE HAIR SHIRTS
You need a Polo shirt, Diesel Jeans, Clarks shoes, and a Breitling. You need a BMW or an SUV, a BB, a so-called exquisite taste, and a 5-number car plate. These are the pre-requisites to the League of Extraordinary men and women. If you have the pre-requisites, then you're eligible for entry.
Self-haters who denounce everything around them. Jordanians by virtue of a document, and if given the chance they'll be anything but. They claim superiority to a world that fed them. They are disgusted by a nation that never stopped giving them. To them, this country can't do anything right. As the movie of the Jordanian life flickers before there eyes they fail to see anything but the black spots and the hidden signatures. They've succumbed to the notion that their survival stems from their distance from this society. They welcome foreigners with a cry for help. They'll bash everything they see to overcome their insecurities, and lack of self-respect.
they're overwhelmed with reality. Oblivious to the concept of classes. Everyone needs to be Upper Class. You need to get your morning coffee at Starbucks, watch your movies at Zara Center's, have your Shisha in Lemon, and NOT read your books in Books@cafe. You're unrecognizable to them if your net worth of apparel covering your body is less than 200 JD. They'll sing Odes of the wonders of the countries they visited, and compare it to the nothingness they see in Jordan. They have a soft spot for Lebanon. It's their best bid to achieve social immortality.
If you want to see them, look around you. They are the ones sitting on tables talking to each other in English, dropping a "ca va" every once in awhile. They are the ones staring at you, from the corner of their eyes, somewhere near the belt, for an eye contact with the masses hurts their superiority.
They love their version of Jordan. One in which they only see themselves. One in which everybody dines in a hotel and shops in a mall. One that breathes vanity and exists in their fantasy.
They have a keen interest in arts, but they can't tell the difference between a melody and a fart. They are the farthest there is from sophistication, but they definitely look the part. They are the parasites growing around ministers, and the country's blood-sucking sinisters. For them, narcissism is a religion, humility is fascism, and a nation is a minority of Gods and a majority of enslaved and ripe humans put there to glorify their mere existence. 
They dread the crawling of the easter Ammanites to their Green Zone. Down the years they retreated from Jabal Al Hussein, Jabal Amman, Shmeisani and Rabieh. They are still fighting for there lives in Sweifieh, while they still have a stronghold in Abdoun and Deir Ghbar! A counter attack has been recently launched at Jabal Amman, but it remains to be seen who will eventually prevail.
If you're rich, you're not necessarily one of them. However, you need to keep spotting yourself. As your humanity and your connection with reality is at stake. You have the choice. You can become superior by overcoming your superiority, or dwell in the hole of self-worship and shoot yourself to oblivion. To the dumpster of history.

Dada egh!

I can proudly boost that the last time I intentionally tuned to an Arabic music channel was 8 years ago. The reason is that I got disgusted and ashamed by the extravagant amount of bullshit they play. And although I commend Melody for the great job their marketing team is doing promoting the channel with themed sketches like "Melody Tunes, all engelish all za time", "Melody tatahadda al malal", and "Melody aflam, aflam arabi... Om el agnabi", I can safely assume that they also have outclassed everyone else with their outrageous and shameless clips!

Today, and while I was vegging with a friend of mine doing absolutely nothing, we ended up throwing away the remote with Melody on. Suddenly, appeared on TV what initially looked like a joke, or maybe a new sketch. Much to our surprise it was actually a song by a girl called Pamela Quwaiq! The song was titled "Dada egh!". Still not knowing what is it that is just about to be thrown at us we kept watching! If I want to best describe her I'd say she looked like a cheap prostitute. With a dress barely covering her butt, she appeared to be acting in the opening scene of some porn movie! Things got better with her first two lines:

Dada dada egh.. Ngegh ngegh!!...

Now, I can't claim that the girl is not pretty. She probably qualifies as a candidate for Hareega's Mikro-blogging eye candy, but letting her sing on satellite TV is an insult to everyone! The point is, if I wanted to see flesh or a naked girl I would've simply got me a porno and cut straight to the chase! My question is, what purpose does this video serve??

This is definitely not a song for adults, cause dada egh is barely the line you'd use to address your lover, and if it's directed to kids then the amount of prostitution on display makes it inappropriate for humans well into their 40's! It's worth mentioning that the clip was directed by the "artist" herself.

Just as it ended we were treated to a song by Rami Ayyash - who is still convinced that he is sexy- and Ahmad Adawyya! Bullshi again. Less amount of prostitution though. Finally, a guy called Nabil Ajram caused my a Diarrhea with his " Bet'azzebni leh" clip. Prisoners sporting gayish unifroms being persecuted by wanton girls.

We decided the best thing to do is to go to sleep.

When I have my own kids I'll do the same thing our neighbor in Jordan did and will delete Melody, Mazzika, Rotana and the rest from my channel list.

Finally, I've predicted in an earlier post that we will start exporting porn to the rest of the world in 50 years. I'll revise that. It's going to happen in 20.

Status Update



The past few weeks were a little different from what preceeded them. A change is always welcome. The question is; was it a good change?

Last time I scored 7.4!

Social: 8
Life is pretty rewarding sometimes, and after some dry spells you get reminded that you're not socially dead :).

Financial 8:
Hard work ocassionally pays off! It looks like it's going to be a good year. A new method in handling my finances is apparently paying off, even during Holidays.

Professional 9:
I'm having a great time :) ... If I manage to avoid the scramble of the year-end I will be bursting with fruits flavors.

Weather 9:
As I wished, I Felt a little cold in Jordan, and then came back to the wonderful winter of Dubai. It's a great time for outdoor activities.

Health 6:
You can't win it all!! I hate Flu.

Overall 8:

Looks like it was a good change :) .. I hope it goes on... Targeting 9.5 by March!

Thoughts of a 40,000 ft high passenger

* They say that smoking will kill you. I'm not really sure whether this has something to do with the actual intake of all this gloriously poisonous stuff, or is it because the things a smoker will do to get his fix! I walked probably half a mile from and crossed two terminals today to go to the smoking room! More like a gas chamber. Smoked two ciggies and went back the same distance with my bags on me! Now, this is what people call dedication.

* Airports always give you, well at lest me, this weird feeling of hope mixed with loneliness and solitude. I'm very quiet in airports. I will probably look like a man carrying the globe over his shoulders. Usually, I'm just having extra time to think about so many things that I usually forget.

* After what happened the other day, Egypt & Algeria should be banned from the World Cup! It's an embarrassment and a disgrace to Arabs, Africa and the whole sporting community. Their associations should impose a self-ban just to teach their Holligans a lesson and tell the world that those rubbish don't represent us.

* Tunisia decided to embarrass itself against Mozambique, as opposed to doing it during the world cup. They are keeping a low profile. How wise of them.

* Bahrain should not qualify. Period.

* When an Arab tries to explain to a Sri Lankan that he/she shouldn't discriminate agains Philippinos that means that the world is coming to an end!.. The west do it for us, and we do it for each other!

* Emirates airlines is a great Airliner. Wonderful service. But Royal Jordanian is as well, and their Entertainment programs are much better. Yes, I care about my entertainment especially during long flights.

* Emirates only comes on top by the virtue of the absence of the self-proclaimed scary non-civilan staring at everyone who steps in.

* 401 Miles to Amman.

* Smoking isn't the most damaging thing to your health. Remember, eventually you will get married.

* Heading to Amman, the first few ideas that pop into my head are:
A)finally I will be able to wear a jacket! I miss those winters.
B) Once I'm out of customs I'll buy me a Latte from Blue Fig and smoke me a ciggie.
C) I'm going to miss that house warming party Eloisa is throwing this weekend, and
D) I've just approved a 4-day vacation that my privacy will take. It will commence the moment I step off the plane.

* We Jordanians complain a lot about Jordan.. But we love going back. Because it's beautiful.

* Two days of work and then the weekend. After that, the weather is getting better in Dubai and I'm not about to miss it!

The great inheritance

"The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral right". J. Paul Getty

None of the said above applies to this region. We inheritted nothing
more than two dozens of fat cats which keep getting stuffed and refuse
to die or let live!

Somehow not a single set of rules, neither scientific nor social, can
describe what's going on here. And somehow the down spiral process is
accelerating.

Sporting my Nostradamus hat, I believe in 10 years time we'll start
commercially exporting Porn to the rest of the world. I just wish I can ride the tide and get my share. In the end, if you can't beat them, you better join them.

Peace and love for all of you sleepers.

Today's Dose of Wisdom: Marriage!

Being in Jordan, you find yourself forced to share the joyful and scandulous wedding atmosphere of everyone around you!! Even those you don't know. From Parades and convoys in the street that force you to line up and participate in the horn-honking contest to the social obligation of showing up in every single wedding of a member of your super-extended family!! All of this merits a scratch of the brain, and A call for wisdom. Especially that the hot topic of this mating season is marriage!

Here are some quotes to help you through the casual discussions while you'rE driving around with your friends/family, or while you'rE engaging in the social activity of smoking shisha in one of the Zillion coffee shops around the city!!

"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."
Honore de Balzac

"A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted."
Helen Rowland

"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it." John Steinbeck

"A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing." W. Somerset Maugham

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Mignon McLaughlin

"All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble." Raymond Hull

"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too." H. L. Mencken

"We, as Humans, are bound to make mistakes. If nothing else, we get married." Ehab

"Humans go against nature all the time. For example; We get married, animals sleep around." Ehab

If you look closely you'll find Spirms flying all over the city!!

HAPPY MATING SEASON EVERYONE!!

Scraps about politics! Risk and Nothing Else!

It's very hard to be blogging these days. At least for me! Being a person who has a keen interest in politics because of how it impacts our lives I find it very hard to write about it more and more everyday, because it feels like in 99% of times we are on the losing end. If you consider the exception of Hezbollah that percentage might actually go higher.

It's funny and equally pathetic to know that the only victories we score are in some irrelevant quarrels amongst us, and even in that case we end up losing sometimes. A perfect example would be the brotherly relationship between Jordan and Qatar, or the new Middle Eastern Allies vs Axis situation.

I wonder if politicians have a huge Risk Board game in some room -probably in the Monarch Hotel in Dubai- where they sit around a big table, each one of them carrying his colored pawns "us", and wondering where he should be putting his reinforcements, while another is contemplating exchanging his 3 Cards for a Blitzrig of Soldiers! In Iran's case nobody really knows if its collection of cards can actually yield anything, while Israel will always be drafted a Wild card, and the Palestinians will never manage to add another card to their limbing collection because it's been a long time since they achieved any advances on any front!

I think it's high time for someone to show up and spank all of those players on the back of their heads!.. Maybe they'd realize that life isn't simply a Risk Game!!

Whatever!

Stereotypes Moment: Egyptians

An egyptian can sell you a bean for a Cyclotron. You'll only find out when you're left with no other choice but to eat it!!

Ten things you need to know about your Arab!

There are certain things you need to know about Arabs. These are essential, and it is important to take them straight from Arabs, or from those who lived with Arabs. I'd say they'd be a more reliable source of information than CNN, FOX, SKY, Jack Powers...etc

Remember, these are basic, and are overwhilmingly standard among Arabs. So, here we go:

1) 90% of Arabs don't eat pork. They do so because 90% of Arabs are Muslims, and it's in their religion that they shouldn't eat pork, not because they hate you or don't want to be like you.

2) Arabs don't hate Americans' or Europeans' way of life! Actually we don't mind it. Some of actually live by it, and those who don't enjoy watching it on TV. We are just a little bit attached to our style of life, and we don't want some redneck like G.W.B to come and force a change on us.

3) Arabs don't hate Jews. If you check our genetic tree you will not find a gene that automatically enduces hate towards them. Actually, until 1920's we were getting a long just fine ans Andalucia, Morrocco, Egypt, Turkey, Iraq and Yemen are a testament to that. It's just a little bit hard to get a long with somebody who is occupying your house and living on your land, while occassionally getting a little bit naughty and killing a bunch of your own people.

4)Those Arabs you call middle easterns, are actually Cauccaisans. In other words WHITE!. Outside the middle east you have other types of arabs in Sudan & North Africa. They are ethnically black or Amazigh, and we love them just as much.

5) Just to emphasize point #3; Arabs are not anti-Semitic. For the very simple an obvious reason: Arabs Are Semitic.

6)Arabs usually, like in 95% of cases, have one wife! So, asking the same old question on how many women a guy is married to is not funny and is actually considered stupid and insulting.

7) When we pray we don't carry spears.

8)If somebody tells you he's Kanaanite, he is an Arab, Akkadian, he is an arab, A Pharoah, he is an Arab, a phoenician, he is an Arab, Lebanese, yes believe it or not he is an arab.

9) Arabs don't want to convert you. We don't care if you are Jewish, Christian, Buddahist, Bahaaist, or whatever. We just want you to let us be, mind your own business and we will mind ours.

10)People you might have seen in Jad Choueiri "Cool/Funky Arabs" are probably arabs, but they are neither representatives nor apologists for the rest of us. They are just a bunch of people with too much time on their hands and you can find people like these anywhere in the entire world. So please don't think that we are as cool or carefree as the Jamaicans!

Stereotypes Moment: Lebanese

Lebanese are podiums. That is good, at least for the duration of the speech!!

Stereotypes Moment: Jordanians

Jordanians don&'t like being told what to do!.. However, they're fine with being forced to do it.

The Seven Arab Girls You Should Never Date

P.S. No images were included for lack of authentic material or time for creativity. Image donations are accepted and will be attributed to the donor!!

This one is inspired by the post at www.andfaraway.net, which in turn is inspired by the one at www.KabobFest.com!! But since the purposes of dating vary hugely, and since I would assume that the purpose implicitly stated in the previously mentioned posts is a long lasting relationship, then I will build the list based on that assumption. Because honestly speaking, the list might become the most wanted in case you were looking for something else.

It is also worth mentioning that I didn’t try to categorize girls based on their favorite hangout, hobbies, clothes, or upbringing background, but more on their mentalities.

I’m not sure whether the point I’m trying to make here is clear to everyone, or is it just clear in my head. Anyway, there goes nothing. Below is a list of eight girls you should not date in Amman.

1.The “ENNU” girl!! a.k.a The “I WAS LIKE” girl:

Boosted with a couple of private school years under her belt and a self-induced feeling of sophistication, she sticks the above mentioned words/phrases in every sentence replacing all punctuation marks. She thinks that the world revolves around her, and that guys would die at her feet just because she knows how to say Oh My God and she remotely resembles Europeans. She spends her time hours on end gossiping with her equally light-headed friends, usually about the other group of her light-headed friends and vice versa. She is usually rich.

She usually wears shades that cover half her face, and makeup covering the other half. Has more bags than an airport belt and relentlessly brag about her love for shoes.

2.The feminist:

-And no, by definition, not all females are feminists- Usually she’ll smack you with a speech about how women are equal to men, and how they can perform almost all tasks and duties a man can do! For obvious reasons, she will not come to mention semen. She will use every chance to mention her passion for work, and the nightmares about marrying a guy who will stop in the way of her career. Usually will complain about guys manners in queues, buses and restaurants because they don’t behave as gentlemen towards women, and will make no secret of her desire to quit work a few years from marriage.. Sighting numerous reasons, one of which is the presence of the kid!

No single dress code usually fits the group. As it is more related to an age bracket.

3. The plastic girl:

Usually have done a couple of surgeries to enhance her assets! And as much as it is pleasing to us, all will become negligible next to the empty space between her ears. She thinks that cars and clothes are assets, and believes that a guy’s love is directly proportional to how much money leakage he is willing to accept. The most annoying treat in a man for her is; him being stingy.

What she is wearing? Brands, brands and more brands. And more brands.. and yet more brands

4. Shareefet Makka:

The girl whom you were the first to kiss!! Touch or, exercise any kind of foreplay with. Because according to her you are the first… but the truth is, there is a long line of firsts. Note: Virginity is not a measure, since this type of girls is so accommodating through other entry points.

5. The Ugly one: For obvious reasons

6. The age-conscious girl.

She is so insecure about her age, and about still being single. You can easily spot that type because they talk a lot about marriage, and their refusal to marry the first guy knocking at her door. She is keen on mentioning all suitors knocking on her door, and the reason why she allegedly “rejected” them. Reason for not dating her is simply because she will hook up with a monkey if he is coming close to raising a marriage LPO. Turn on your detectors around those older than 26, because this is the threshold for Jordanian girls. Usually it takes them 2-3 years after graduation to get over the career dream, and then they develop into men-hunters!


7. The “not so sure about this” girl:

Testy girls who want to make a challenge of every little thing. She wants you to get into her heart through a treasure hunt contest. Reason for not dating is simply because she should go fuck herself. There is a lot of fish in the sea, and it has been proved times and times again that it is not worth it!


The purpose of this post in not primarily to be funny… It has a point, and if you don’t get it, then you are beyond help.

Validation can actually make your life better!



I haven't seen an idea as genuine in a long time!!! And I must admit, Mohammad Abbas looks funny as a Yasser Arafat :)... But I get too many parking tickets here in Dubai to be able to overcome that particular trauma!! :S

On Problem Solving!!




This post has been inspired by Ali, Kababji, and obviously Scott Adams!!

And I can swear I've seen happening before!!

Webster- Arabic- American Dictionary

As they say, different words mean different things to different people! This is only a small sample;

Prostitute:
Webster: a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse especially for money.
Arabic: Arab female Singer with her main talent being her body.
American: A female whose father was a junkie and/or used to hit her mother and occasionally refused to let her get away with whatever she does. Occassionaly a figure hosted on the famous TV show Dr. Phil

Consistency:
Webster: harmony of conduct or practice with profession.
Arabic: Status Quo.
American: Making the same mistake, as in electing George W. Bush twice.

Political Change:
Webster: the act, process, or result of changing political direction and approach to social and international problems.
Arabic: Face left.
American: Using different words to describe the same action. e.g exchanging KILL with Neutralize, Crusade with Dialogue, and Elephants with Donkeys!

Democracy:
Webster: a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections.
Arabic: Dillusion.
American: a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections, while not being held responsible for its action whatsoever. Another definition would be a political version of American Idol.


Crook:
Webster: a person who engages in fraudulent or criminal practices
Arabic: Politician.
American: A politician or businessman who doens't fully cover his ass.

Status Update: "The Coming Back"

I haven't been blogging for a long time now, and as you can see I'm trying to make up for the wasted days! The reason being I was really getting tired of the futile discussion about Gaza. It steps on your nerves and strains your brain cells when you see people discussing things they wouldn't have discussed had it been another country that was involved other than Israel. Back to the chicken and the egg discussion, occupation and security, Shalit and blockade!. For me the facts were clear so I decided to step down for awhile and leave the blogosphere to those who have something to do better than argue with those who don't believe in people's rights to live!

And since it's been awhile, I think it's the right time for the occasional Status Update!!.. I say occasional because it's totally random and based on my mood, which swings faster than a child's cradle!

Weather: 8.5
I can still enjoy the glorious outdoor activities which in the summer would be a dream.

Social: 7.5
Something is cooking!! but I still don't know how it'll end up!

Financial: 4
A major leakage point has been discovered and there is no sign of stopping!!

Professional: 8
Surprisingly things are going pretty well!! I hope I didn't jinx it just now.

Health: 7
Same same baba! I need to go to the dentist though.

Insomnia: 6
Still lingering at the same level as before. This is a chronic case that I have been suffering for the past 10 years, and shows no sign of letting go!

Overall: 6.9

Same score as the last time, which I remember was somewhere mid November!What I have gained in my social life and my health I paid for dearly and is balanced out by the evaporation of Money!!

It would interesting to see how the coming few months will look like!! A major change is forecasted somewhere around June!

An interesting new Gadget by Facebook (Touchgraph)



Being an engineer I can't help but to be fascianted with anything that looks like a diagram. Lines and arrows going left right and center. Circles growing bigger or smaller shifting from left to right and vise Versa!

Some smart guy came up with this idea, and I find it one of the coolest ideas any nerd has come up with. This diagram shows you your friends and the way they are interconnected, and based on their connections to each other they are clustered and color coded!! So you can easily identify those who are you college friends, school friends, colleagues, family, and even one night stands!!

In this diagram for example, you can see a name that is fighting for my place!! His circle is very close and almost as big as mine!! Can you imagine if this guy was severed from my life!! the whole network will be heavily disturbed!! :-)..

Facebook... Cool stuff!!

Status Update: going up the ladder!

Weather: 8
Ahhhhh, finally!! you can roll down your windows, take awake, enjoy a an outdoors shisha and plan for a visit to the autodrome! :)

Health: 6
Average!! I have to cut down on a habit or two though!

Finance: 7.5It's ironic that this figure just went during these tough times! I guess it all boils down to the fact that i didn't see a specific digit in my bank account for a very very long time!

Social: 6Things are quiet. Work is taking its toll, and traffic leaves you worn out and the idea of having a social life is at times not appealing whatsoever!! However, the weekends are always interesting. I'm expecting more fun in the coming days, as one my bestEST friends is coming to town.

Professional: 8.5It's getting real, and I have to say, at work, shit usually happens!

Insomnia: 6Work is really giving me no chance to suffer from this horrible condition! One thing I'm thankful for.

Overall: 6.9A push is forecasted in December, with the holidays season beckoning. I just hope that a certain trip will no Xt$*%# the whole thing up!!