Status Update

The past few weeks were a little different from what preceeded them. A change is always welcome. The question is; was it a good change?

Last time I scored 7.4!

Social: 8

Life is pretty rewarding sometimes, and after some dry spells you get reminded that you're not socially dead :).

Financial 8:

Hard work ocassionally pays off! It looks like it's going to be a good year. A new method in handling my finances is apparently paying off, even during Holidays.

Professional 9:

I'm having a great time :) ... If I manage to avoid the scramble of the year-end I will be bursting with fruits flavors.

Weather 9:

As I wished, I Felt a little cold in Jordan, and then came back to the wonderful winter of Dubai. It's a great time for outdoor activities.

Health 6:

You can't win it all!! I hate Flu.

Overall 8:

Looks like it was a good change :) .. I hope it goes on... Targeting 9.5 by March!

Egypt and Algeria or Algeria and Egypt

Egypt and Algeria or Algeria and Egypt, doesn’t really matter which comes first, because in my eyes both comes last, the last 2 countries I will have any respect for after what happened lately because of a stupid football game.

I kept silent about this idiotic act for long enough until I saw an ad on the TV for a stupid, low budget, cheap Egyptian movie, the ad said, soon on all cinemas in all the Arab countries except Algeria!!!! When I saw this I thought, this must be a joke.




I don’t know who started this or how it started in the first place, but if there is one thing I’m sure of it's that it’s all the fault of the media, one dumb reporter says something stupid, whether he meant bad or good it doesn’t matter, then all the TV channels pick that up and start to build stories on it, and the simple people just watch this and the blood boils in their veins, it’s the honour of their countries, someone is insulting their countries, they want to go to war!!! They want to go to war because of a football game!!!

One guy on TV was shouting (the TV host was crying, I swear to god he was crying with tears) “they have insulted us, they have burnt our flag, we have to defend our dignity and honour”, he wants his dignity back! What dignity are you talking about, dude we are Arabs, I thought that ship has sailed, it has sailed since we lost Palestine, it has sailed again and again and again many times after, and never came close to the Arab countries since then, we lost Iraq after Palestine, and we lost thousands of people in few days just a year ago, and you want to get back at the Algerians?! Is that how you get your dignity back?!

Now I just talked about the simple people here, didn’t mention anything about the “highly educated” public figures of both countries and I didn’t say anything about the governments too, and I won’t, for one single reason, we Arabs are a hopeless case, the only thing we are good at is to find artistic ways to bring shame to ourselves.

The great inheritance

"The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral right". J. Paul Getty

None of the said above applies to this region. We inheritted nothing
more than two dozens of fat cats which keep getting stuffed and refuse
to die or let live!

Somehow not a single set of rules, neither scientific nor social, can
describe what's going on here. And somehow the down spiral process is
accelerating.

Sporting my Nostradamus hat, I believe in 10 years time we'll start
commercially exporting Porn to the rest of the world. I just wish I can ride the tide and get my share. In the end, if you can't beat them, you better join them.

Peace and love for all of you sleepers.

09.09.09

The date 09.09.09 is now an important day in the history of the Arab nation, it’s the launching day of Dubai Metro, the first modern train in the gulf region.

Celebrating this day was a must on every Arab who lives in the gulf region; it shows that we are capable of adapting new and modern ideas, and as always Dubai is the pioneer in this, always giving us the hope that we can rise and take the place that we deserve on earth, giving us the hope that we might one day advance from the third world to the first world, the way we were before.

So, I was happy in that day and glued myself to Dubai One TV because I didn’t know when the ceremony will start, waiting waiting waiting,..., and finally it started, and what a shame, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, the officials were speaking English and there was no Arabic translator, I couldn’t believe it when an Egyptian reporter asked his question in Arabic, he got the answer in English, and to be fair, not good English, the English of a beginner, nothing professional in it,....

Why Dubai, why couldn’t you do it in Arabic and provided translators to the most important languages? What is wrong with speaking your own language?

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LOOK LESS CIVILIZED IF YOU SPEAK ARABIC, or at least learn to speak good English.

Photo was taken by (Ali Haider / EPA / September 9, 2009)

Happy Birthday PALORDINIA

Palordinia The Birthday Boy!

It's already been a year. Well, to be more specific 370 days, since Palordinia started. When we started this thing we had nothing in mind more than creating a portal for our thought, and yes, why not sharing it with everyone interested on the web.

We have our ideas which usually fall short of being realized due to us being preoccupied with our jobs and our daily lives. Add to that a small dose of laziness and you find yourself looking at a product of two Arab guys in their late twenties.

During this year we strived to offer you, the visitor, an interesting perspective on many subjects. We tend to lean towards politics and business, but we also have an interest in arts, culture and just about everything else. Unfortunately, we are not blessed with the necessary skills to write about everything, and that's why you find the material about arts for example next to non-existent.

Inspiration

Our little adventure came to life when we started noticing what is commonly known amongst all of you as the Blogosphere! I know I know. A little too late, but hey! why judge us :). In times where Facebook, Twitter, Digg, and Myspace invaded our homes and minds, it is very difficult to notice something less flashy but admittedly richer!

I find myself obliged to mention the first blog that we noticed. Naturally, this blog helped develop the idea in our heads, and soon it was a reality. This blog was the Roba's weird and sometimes self-centered AndFarAway! Of course, that takes nothing away from the quality of that blog, but I thought it would be a decent way of describing it. It is also important to mention her that we are thankful for a different reason. Soon you will know why.

You might think, This guy is making creating a blog look like a difficult things to do. Well, true it is done with a couple of clicks. But to decide to take the time and commit to such thing is really difficult. I am not claiming that we have been consistant all along! Just a look at the number of entries of September 2008 gives you an idea about how fluctuating things have been around here.

No Promises!

I'm not going to make any promise that I'm not sure of fulfilling. I don't think Ali "my partner in crime" is going to do so as well. We will stick around. This is something for us before anything else, and if we are blessed enough to have people coming by to read what we write and share their thoughts and ideas with us, then that would be wonderful!

We might move to the next leverl, we might not. We might change our skins, we might not. We might grow, and we might not. But we will be around :)

How big is the bubble.

As all of you know, wonderful Google has this great tool called Google Analytics. It gives you some wonderful insights about yuour blog. It allows you to know how your blog is performing, and what is it that your readers take interest in. Here, we are going to share some facts about this blog with you. So Enjoy.


Top Ten Articles "By number of Readers"

1. The Seven Arab Girls You Should Never Date.
2. Dubai & The Financial Crisis.
3. Natalie The Virgin Bunny.
4. Ten Things You Need To Know About Your Arab.
5. Stereotype Moment: Lebanese.
6. Jordan Ranks 33 on Forbes List of Best Countries for Business
7. Stereotypes Moment: Jordanians
8. This Is How The Arabs Make The World Laugh At Them. Courtesy Of Mona Al Tahawy
9. World's Friendliest Countries.
10. Kadima's Website Hacked By Gazzans. E-War

Top Ten Visitors "Countries"

1. United States Of America.
2. Jordan
3. United Arab Emirates.
4. Saudia Arabia
5. United Kingdom
6. Canada
7. Germany
8. Egypt
9. Australia
10. Lebanon

Top Ten Referring Sites

1. Jordan Blogs
2. Blogger
3. And Far Away (That's why we are grateful :) )
4. Expat Blogs
5. Facebook.
6. The Black Iris
7. Blog Catalog
8. Palestine Blogs
9. Notes From A Grumpy Old Man
10. Google
11. Hareega (Honorary Mention)

It is important to mention here that we are still waiting for Toot to take us in! We don't know what the delay is all about! :)

Some Other Fact.

59% of our visitors came from referrals. We tkake this with pride.
84 is the number of countries from which people graced us with a visit.

There you go folks. A year of Palordinia and more to come. Thanks for all of those who came and took interest in what we write, and we are looking forward to share more with you.

Regards,

Palordinia Team.

Todays Dose of Wisedom: Life = Risk

Haifa Wehbe shows her religious side

The following article was taken from MSNArabia,

"Haifa Wehbe -4 months into marriage to Egyptian businessman Ahmed Abu-Hashisma- will spend this Ramadan with him in her country of residence and homeland Lebanon, where she’ll be joining her family.

The Lebanese sensation said she will be dedicated during the Islamic holy month to caring after her household, as well as serving the yummiest food and all -she says she is a skilled cook.

Wehbe shuns offers for concerts at the traditional Ramadan marquees.

Her earlier proclamations about her intention to go for a month-long worship seclusion, were responded to rather sarcastically in media, but she reaffirmed: “I’m a Muslim, I used to fast since i was just a little child, and no one should interfere between a worshipper and his God”."

http://arabia.msn.com/Entertainment/Celebrities/2009/August/ReligiousHaifa.aspx

A Brand New American Lie

We all remember the American invasion to Iraq, we all remember why that happened – according to the American government and the CIA- but still, I will remind you of the main reason president Bush gave us to justify this war. According to Bush, Iraq has developed mass destruction weapons, and he wanted to be the hero who saves the world from the Iraqi monster, he claimed he has the evidence before he went to the war and “convinced” the whole world that he is right.

Now, again everyone knows that it was just a lie; he didn’t have any evidence that Iraq has MDW, he confessed that the CIA has fooled him, and again, we all know that it’s just another lie to justify the first lie, it’s a stupid one though.

And yet again, the American government comes with a brand new type of lies, they claims that Saddam, the late Iraqi leader has lied to them and told them that he has developed MDW!!!!!! Yes they do. On the 2ed of July the BBC reported the US investigators have released documents of questioning of Saddam Hussein, it is documents and recordings of interviews and informal conversations he had when he was in the FBI custody in 2004!!!!!!!

The documents reveals that Iraq was so weak, and according to the FBI Saddam has refused to let UN investigators do their job because he thought that they will go and report to Iran that Iraq is so weak now and they will tell Iran where to hit to cause the maximum damaged!!!!!!

It continues to show that Saddam has identified the Iranian threat long time ago, he knew that Iran was developing nuclear weapons and he claimed has those weapons too and more to scare the Iranians, again !!!!!!!

So in the end, the CIA didn’t fool anyone, president Bush was a hero and he did want to save the world, and the rest of the world are just a bunch of idiots.

I really upload the Americans for their boldness, no matter what happens they still can’t admit they were wrong, and they still can find a way to tell us how fool we are, and they are the guarding angels of the earth, they really deserve to run a world full of idiots.


To see the BBC story, please visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8131478.stm

Memories

You can hear people saying sometimes, I wish there is a pill to erase bad memories, but how did you know that what happened an hour or two ago is going to be a bad memory? maybe it's a bad experience, but you can't say it's a bad memory until you remember it after a long time, and you feel really bad when you do, then you can call it a bad memory. And I think that it's hard to have a bad memory.

a couple of days ago I was looking at some old photos, some of these photos were taken in really bad times, but much to my surprise, it was the photos that I smiled the most when I looked at. I've always thought these were bad memories of bad days, but they weren't, as I said earlier these were just some bad experiences, and those bad experiences along with the good and successful ones are what made me who I am now, these are the bricks that built my personality.

We've always thought that school times are the worst, we've always prayed to god days and nights for these days to be over, at prom night, we were the happiest people on earth and we thought that the worst is over, and now the easy life will begin.

After going to university, we found out that it's not as easy as we thought, in fact, it was harder than school time, you are older now, people will expect more from you, and not just that, it's actually the first step towards the real life, so it had to be in the right direction. But how would you know the right direction? you never know, you just speculate. So here we are again praying to god for these days to end, we wanted to start working, because we thought it's going to be easier.

With high hopes we finish collage, we celebrate it and put ourselves to sleep, dreaming about the brighter tomorrow, but guess what? it's real life now, you can't pray for it to end too, because it will mean the end of your life. It's hard, hard work, fake smiles and friendships, full of backstabbing and double crossings, we curse it everyday, and yet after sometime, you look at those days, the days you spent at your old job, and smile, and think it wasn't that bad.

And i say it now, it's not that bad, no matter how hard it is, it is still not that bad. Now just to be clear here, I was not talking about school or university days as whole, I was just talking about the bad days, and so is life after college.

Something that is worth mentioning by the way, I am really surprised with how much I wrote about this, when I started I didn't even have anything to write, but as soon as I started, I didn't stop to think of the next word at all. And I'm not really sure about what's going on here, because i'm not usually romantic like this :-s

Something tells me that I'll come back to this post few days later, and realize that it was something Forrest Gump had probably said while sitting on that bench talking to the old lady and waiting for that bus! yea.. that bus, the one that was supposed to take him to the place he wanted to be the most.

Today's Dose of Wisedom: Knowledge

Albert Einstein:
Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.

Benjamin Spock:
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

Goethe:
Knowing is not enough; we must apply!

Kahlil Gibran:
A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.

Leonardo da Vinci:
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.


For more, please visit http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_knowledge.html

Ten things you need to know about your Arab!

There are certain things you need to know about Arabs. These are essential, and it is important to take them straight from Arabs, or from those who lived with Arabs. I'd say they'd be a more reliable source of information than CNN, FOX, SKY, Jack Powers...etc

Remember, these are basic, and are overwhilmingly standard among Arabs. So, here we go:

1) 90% of Arabs don't eat pork. They do so because 90% of Arabs are Muslims, and it's in their religion that they shouldn't eat pork, not because they hate you or don't want to be like you.

2) Arabs don't hate Americans' or Europeans' way of life! Actually we don't mind it. Some of actually live by it, and those who don't enjoy watching it on TV. We are just a little bit attached to our style of life, and we don't want some redneck like G.W.B to come and force a change on us.

3) Arabs don't hate Jews. If you check our genetic tree you will not find a gene that automatically enduces hate towards them. Actually, until 1920's we were getting a long just fine ans Andalucia, Morrocco, Egypt, Turkey, Iraq and Yemen are a testament to that. It's just a little bit hard to get a long with somebody who is occupying your house and living on your land, while occassionally getting a little bit naughty and killing a bunch of your own people.

4)Those Arabs you call middle easterns, are actually Cauccaisans. In other words WHITE!. Outside the middle east you have other types of arabs in Sudan & North Africa. They are ethnically black or Amazigh, and we love them just as much.

5) Just to emphasize point #3; Arabs are not anti-Semitic. For the very simple an obvious reason: Arabs Are Semitic.

6)Arabs usually, like in 95% of cases, have one wife! So, asking the same old question on how many women a guy is married to is not funny and is actually considered stupid and insulting.

7) When we pray we don't carry spears.

8)If somebody tells you he's Kanaanite, he is an Arab, Akkadian, he is an arab, A Pharoah, he is an Arab, a phoenician, he is an Arab, Lebanese, yes believe it or not he is an arab.

9) Arabs don't want to convert you. We don't care if you are Jewish, Christian, Buddahist, Bahaaist, or whatever. We just want you to let us be, mind your own business and we will mind ours.

10)People you might have seen in Jad Choueiri "Cool/Funky Arabs" are probably arabs, but they are neither representatives nor apologists for the rest of us. They are just a bunch of people with too much time on their hands and you can find people like these anywhere in the entire world. So please don't think that we are as cool or carefree as the Jamaicans!

Marrying a Programmer

I recieved this funny jock via e-mail, read it, it's really funny.

Husband(returning late from work): Good evening dear, I’m logged

Wife: Have u brought the groceries?

Husband: Bad Command or file name.

Wife: But I told u in the morning.

Husband: syntax error. Abort?

Wife: what about my new T.V?

Husband: Variable not found.

Wife: At least, give me your credit card; I want to do some shopping.

Husband: sharing violation, access denied.

Wife: Do u love me or do u love computers or are u just being funny.

Husband: Too many parameters.

Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like u.

Husband: Type mismatch.

Wife: U r useless.

Husband: It’s by default.

Wife: Wt about your salary.

Husband: file in use…try later.

Wife: Wt is my value in this family.

Husband: Unknown virus…

Stereotypes Moment: Lebanese

Lebanese are podiums. That is good, at least for the duration of the speech!!

The 5 Monkeys Theory

Once a scientist wanted to do an experiment on behaviour trends and how it develops with time, so he got 5 monkeys and put them in a cage, he places some bananas on the top of the cage and put a ladder in the cage, one monkey tried to reach the bananas, and at once the scientist aimed a water hose and fired very cold water at the other 4,he scared them to death.

Next, another monkey tries to reach the bananas and the scientist did the same thing, after sometime and couple of cold water hits, he found that whenever a monkey tries to reach the bananas, the other monkeys will hit him hard and keep him from reaching the banana.

Next, he took one of the monkeys out and let another one in, let’s call the new monkey XY. The moment XY gets into the cage, he goes up the ladder to get the banana, but the other monkeys still remember the cold water torture, so they jump and start hitting him to ban him from reaching the banana, after a couple of tries and some really hard hits XY learned that if he tries to get the banana he will be hit hard by the other monkeys, although none of them wants the banana, he doesn’t understand why he’s being hit, he just knows it will happen.

The scientist continued on the process of taking out one monkey and adding a new one and the same thing happened all the time with all the new monkeys and even XY was hitting the new comers even though he doesn’t know why.

After taking out all the monkeys that have been tortured with the cold water and placing new monkeys in the cage, and even repeating this process until he changed the group twice (of course one by one he does it) the same thing kept happening.

Now, none of the new monkeys has been tortured with the cold water, so none of them knows why he is defending these bananas, but they still do it anyway, because they are used to it and they saw the late ones doing it, and also each one of them get hit at least once because he tried ti reach the bananas.

Get it?!

Stereotypes Moment: Jordanians

Jordanians don&'t like being told what to do!.. However, they're fine with being forced to do it.

The Seven Arab Girls You Should Never Date

P.S. No images were included for lack of authentic material or time for creativity. Image donations are accepted and will be attributed to the donor!!

This one is inspired by the post at www.andfaraway.net, which in turn is inspired by the one at www.KabobFest.com!! But since the purposes of dating vary hugely, and since I would assume that the purpose implicitly stated in the previously mentioned posts is a long lasting relationship, then I will build the list based on that assumption. Because honestly speaking, the list might become the most wanted in case you were looking for something else.

It is also worth mentioning that I didn’t try to categorize girls based on their favorite hangout, hobbies, clothes, or upbringing background, but more on their mentalities.

I’m not sure whether the point I’m trying to make here is clear to everyone, or is it just clear in my head. Anyway, there goes nothing. Below is a list of eight girls you should not date in Amman.

1.The “ENNU” girl!! a.k.a The “I WAS LIKE” girl:

Boosted with a couple of private school years under her belt and a self-induced feeling of sophistication, she sticks the above mentioned words/phrases in every sentence replacing all punctuation marks. She thinks that the world revolves around her, and that guys would die at her feet just because she knows how to say Oh My God and she remotely resembles Europeans. She spends her time hours on end gossiping with her equally light-headed friends, usually about the other group of her light-headed friends and vice versa. She is usually rich.

She usually wears shades that cover half her face, and makeup covering the other half. Has more bags than an airport belt and relentlessly brag about her love for shoes.

2.The feminist:

-And no, by definition, not all females are feminists- Usually she’ll smack you with a speech about how women are equal to men, and how they can perform almost all tasks and duties a man can do! For obvious reasons, she will not come to mention semen. She will use every chance to mention her passion for work, and the nightmares about marrying a guy who will stop in the way of her career. Usually will complain about guys manners in queues, buses and restaurants because they don’t behave as gentlemen towards women, and will make no secret of her desire to quit work a few years from marriage.. Sighting numerous reasons, one of which is the presence of the kid!

No single dress code usually fits the group. As it is more related to an age bracket.

3. The plastic girl:

Usually have done a couple of surgeries to enhance her assets! And as much as it is pleasing to us, all will become negligible next to the empty space between her ears. She thinks that cars and clothes are assets, and believes that a guy’s love is directly proportional to how much money leakage he is willing to accept. The most annoying treat in a man for her is; him being stingy.

What she is wearing? Brands, brands and more brands. And more brands.. and yet more brands

4. Shareefet Makka:

The girl whom you were the first to kiss!! Touch or, exercise any kind of foreplay with. Because according to her you are the first… but the truth is, there is a long line of firsts. Note: Virginity is not a measure, since this type of girls is so accommodating through other entry points.

5. The Ugly one: For obvious reasons

6. The age-conscious girl.

She is so insecure about her age, and about still being single. You can easily spot that type because they talk a lot about marriage, and their refusal to marry the first guy knocking at her door. She is keen on mentioning all suitors knocking on her door, and the reason why she allegedly “rejected” them. Reason for not dating her is simply because she will hook up with a monkey if he is coming close to raising a marriage LPO. Turn on your detectors around those older than 26, because this is the threshold for Jordanian girls. Usually it takes them 2-3 years after graduation to get over the career dream, and then they develop into men-hunters!


7. The “not so sure about this” girl:

Testy girls who want to make a challenge of every little thing. She wants you to get into her heart through a treasure hunt contest. Reason for not dating is simply because she should go fuck herself. There is a lot of fish in the sea, and it has been proved times and times again that it is not worth it!


The purpose of this post in not primarily to be funny… It has a point, and if you don’t get it, then you are beyond help.

Validation can actually make your life better!

I haven't seen an idea as genuine in a long time!!! And I must admit, Mohammad Abbas looks funny as a Yasser Arafat :)... But I get too many parking tickets here in Dubai to be able to overcome that particular trauma!! :S

Beautiful Morning

Today I woke up early in the morning at around 8, had my coffee, smoked a couple of cigarettes before I dare to open the window blinds and look outside, as it’s usually dusty here, I thought it would be another lousy weekend, but to my surprise, the weather was great, sky was clear, no dust in the air, and it’s not so hot.

What a beautiful morning, after a stressful week at work, I must go out and have breakfast somewhere “on the beach”, since I live on one of the smallest islands in the world, you would think that is actually what I should be doing everyday.

Moving on, I jumped in the car and drove all the way to my friend without even calling him, because I know he would be sitting in the same sh…place to have his morning sheesha, it’s a great morning, which is something that doesn’t happen a lot in Bahrain, and all he want’s to do is to sit and have sheesha and post some videos on FaceBook.

Anyway, we had breakfast and did some boring stuff, then I drove him home, and was going home too, but then I decided not to was this beautiful gift, so what to do? Of course hit the beach! But then again I hit another wall; I live on an ISLAND where there is no public beach, not even one.

I really wanted to seize the moment, I really wanted to enjoy this lovely day, so, I went to one of the clubs that enjoys having a “beach” and was ready to pay $60 to enjoy a 20 meters beach, and I’m not kidding here, it’s really just 20 meter, and guess what, they didn’t let me in because weekends are just for members!

So I went home mad, frustrated, and here I am lying on my couch, writing this boring story, and asking myself after each word I write, why the hell am I writing this?

On Problem Solving!!

This post has been inspired by Ali, Kababji, and obviously Scott Adams!!

And I can swear I've seen happening before!!

Webster- Arabic- American Dictionary

As they say, different words mean different things to different people! This is only a small sample;

Prostitute:
Webster: a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse especially for money.
Arabic: Arab female Singer with her main talent being her body.
American: A female whose father was a junkie and/or used to hit her mother and occasionally refused to let her get away with whatever she does. Occassionaly a figure hosted on the famous TV show Dr. Phil

Consistency:
Webster: harmony of conduct or practice with profession.
Arabic: Status Quo.
American: Making the same mistake, as in electing George W. Bush twice.

Political Change:
Webster: the act, process, or result of changing political direction and approach to social and international problems.
Arabic: Face left.
American: Using different words to describe the same action. e.g exchanging KILL with Neutralize, Crusade with Dialogue, and Elephants with Donkeys!

Democracy:
Webster: a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections.
Arabic: Dillusion.
American: a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections, while not being held responsible for its action whatsoever. Another definition would be a political version of American Idol.


Crook:
Webster: a person who engages in fraudulent or criminal practices
Arabic: Politician.
American: A politician or businessman who doens't fully cover his ass.